Friday, November 30, 2007

while i wouldn't consider myself the 'drunk.girl' i once did.....i like the name. it's funny. it reminds me that even in what i would consider my darkest days, i was still funny. and that makes me smile.

oh words. there are many words i cannot say. still. maybe in time.

until then, Temet Nosce.

posted by valerie @ 13:36 Comments: 0

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

. . . .waiting for laundry is like watching hair grow. . . .come on down!

posted by valerie @ 19:23 Comments: 1

Sunday, April 30, 2006


come to the saz and get a sunshine mary!

posted by valerie @ 16:20 Comments: 0

Saturday, April 22, 2006

so, i just found this today...i wrote it in june of 2003....i really like me. 
 
 
 
 
'a friend of mine said an interesting thing today while at 'church'...she was telling her husband that she was going to skip the service to talk to me since i didn't want to be in the service. he said something about coming to church and not actually going. she said, 'this is church. i know i'll hear from you about the service. i always think that if i don't see valerie here, then God wants me to go into the service.' i was a little surprised by that. i mean, well...who wouldn't be, i guess. but as i thought about it, two things came to mind. 1 is that our lives are so full of other stuff that going to 'church' is the only time we get to be together(which isn't totally true for my friend and i, we just love being together:) and 2 is that we place too much importance on what happens behind the mic. not to say that good things don't come from behind there...i sometimes love sitting in there for the whole time and soaking it in. lately though, i've learned more from talking in cafe bella vista with my dear friends. i love to walk in and scope out the crowd for some familiar faces and just be with my brothers and sisters in Christ. i'm a little sad that i have been 'playing hookie' from the service, but it's where i'm at right now.

that brings me to the first thing i said. our lives are so full. i'm reminded of a book(play) i read in grade school. 'our town'. it was pretty strange, about a girl that lives her life and dies. after she dies she's in the graveyard sitting on her tombstone or something and she's taken back to re-live a day from her life. the fellow dead friends from town tell her to go back to a insignificant day....anyway, she goes back and is struck by the fact that people just move from minute to minute and never stop to think about the time they're in. my favorite line that i remember is this girl, she yells at her mother(?)...'we don't even look at eachother anymore!' i feel that way in my life. i just go on, day to day, minute to minute and never stop to just look at the people i'm with, and i notice that about other people too. i'm reminded of that book so much in my life, and that line.

i bring that up because we say we need simple lives, that if we just get through this week, it'll slow down. it never does. new commitments are made to fill in the empty time, our lives just coast on by us and we realize we're old and our lives are behind us instead of in front of us and we didn't take the time to look at eachother. when will we start looking at eachother? when will we live in closer community?

i realize that this entry is starting to sound alittle depressing....sorry about that. this is where i'm at today, a little melancholy about life. thanks for reading.'
 
 
 
i don't 'go to church' anymore, at least not to a building.  i still get to see that friend.  she's a little bit in the same place as i am about it all, and doesn't really go to the bvc...funny how life changes...or doesn't.  :)  i still feel that way about our town....because we don't look at each other anymore.

posted by valerie @ 16:09 Comments: 0

sometimes, and this is rare, i have nothing to say.  forcing words out of my mouth is like ringing a dry sponge.  it just doesn't work.  there's nothing there.  that is how i feel today. 
 
i did find a great site, however, while enjoying the silence.  it's funny how that used to be my depeche mode song.   :)  guess which i am now.....
 
hope you're having a great day.  glad you aren't expecting me to talk.  it just isn't happening.

posted by valerie @ 15:53 Comments: 0

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

so...today my sister said to me:

'talking to you is like reading, it never gets old... :)'

she actually posted it on my xanga, but it still counts as saying it.....anyway..my heart smiled when i read it.

posted by valerie @ 17:58 Comments: 0

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

currently reading: other voices, other rooms, by truman capote. love it. this is an excerpt i keep going back to....


'let me begin by telling you that i was in love. an ordinary statement, to be sure, but not an ordinary fact, for so few of us learn that love is tenderness, and tenderness is not, as a fair proportion suspect, pity;and still fewer know that happiness in love is not the absolute focusing of all emotion in another: one has always to love a good many things which the beloved must come only to symbolize; the true beloveds of this world are in their lover's eyes lilac opening, ship lights, school bells, a landscape, remembered conversations, friends, a child's sunday, lost voices, one's favorite suit, autumn and all seasons, memory, yes, it being the earth and water of existence, memory. a nostalgic list, but then, of course, where could one find a more nostalgic subject? when one is your age most subtleties go unobserved; even so, i imagine you think it incredible, looking at me as i am not, that i should've had ever the innocence to feel such love; nevertheless, when i was twenty-three... '

posted by valerie @ 21:45 Comments: 1